The plan, The prophecy, The man, The tomatoes.

Disclaimer:- For the believers of the great tomato disasters this post should clear all doubts why g33k5 are the superior race. For the rest GFU.

The elaborate plan for saving the Earth started its impementation on October 28th, 1955 in Seattle, Washington. This is the day the savior of this world was born. He was given a eartly name called Henry Willam.

Everything seemed okey with this man except his prepostarous interest in computers. He was a exceptional student whos main areas of interest were mathematics and sciences. But all this changed on a fateful night 1967. The day had started like any other and ended as normally as it could. It all started after he had gone to sleep. He suddenly felt like he was awake and found himself walking through the ruins of a long destroyed city. The city was covered in a red jelly. Thats when the miracle happened.

God had planned on making a subtle appearance but wakingup in a destroyed city covered with red jelly doesnt work out for humans.

Henry Willaim:- What the *beep*. What the *beep*.

God:- Hi. Im God.

HW:- What the *beep*.

God:- Swearing is a Sin not suitable for a messiah.

HW:- What the *beep* happened to my *beep*ing voice. I say *beep* it says beep???

God:- God*beep*it. Why do messiahs have to be so stupid??? Im God so swearing is always censored in my presence.

HW:- What the *beep*. Cool. Its *beep*ing awesome. So wazzup God???

God:- Look at this world. This a world that was far advanced than Earth and got destroyed because they couldnt handle the tomatoes. You must b wondering why ……..

HW:- What the *beep*. U called me stupid. Ur stupid. Why create me if U wanted to create me so *beep*ically stupid.

God:- God*beep*. U stupid *beep*, Ur still preocessing a dialogue frm 5 mins ago??? ST*beep*U and listen to what I have to say.

HW:- I dont listen to guys who calls me stupid. And BTW my friends mom says “Stupid is what stupid does”. Never really figured out what that really means but it must mean, Ur stupid.

God:- Would U like a lightning bolt up Urs??? Ehh Ehh??? Then ST*beep*U and listen to what I have to say U God*beep*ed stupid *Beep*.

God takes out a bottle of asprin and pops a couple into his mouth.

God:- Now where were we. Ah yeah! You must be wondering why Ur here in such a place. I was about to tell U the secret of Ur life and its purpose but considering Ur inteligence I will have to do everything I guess. Very soon Ur school would obtain a computer and U have to start working on it. I will be telling U what to do from time to time.

HW:- And why would b I doing that???

God:- You were chosen at birth to lead a army that would make people dependent and useless. Thus saving them.

HW:- Come again.

God:- Im God ST*Beep*U and do as I say. It is for saving the world. Now get out of my sight and wakeup in ur world and dont U *beep*ing forget any of it.

2 hrs later, Willaim Gates lying on his bed with his eyes open.

HW:- Now what was I supposed to do again???

Voiceover:- God*beep*it, I wrote everything down on a notepad. Its on the table for heavens sake.

HW:- WT*beep* another God???

Voiceover:- Now who the *beep* am I supposed to repent to after killing him??? Im the *beep*ing God.

HW kept following these orders and became popular as Bill Gates of WIndows. And God’s plan had worked. The people have been turned into a new speices called geeks. This species priortise things a lot differently than normal humans and for them a RAM is a better valentine’s gift than flowers or chocolates. God’s plan had worked out so well that people who dont have a email are believed to not exist at all. But every medicine has a side effect. Now the staple food for geeks happens to be chips and candy bars. Now there is a new possibility of danger due to this.

PS:- All the believers believe this and follow the messiah and install windows.
PS2:- All the believers should note that Unix is the answer that Satan has comeup with to win against God.
PS3:- Believers. Shut Ur computers and go buy a extra windows license just in case. Start running.
PS4:- Now that all the geeky fools have left. This post is nothing more than a South Park inspired work of fiction, created for the sole purpose of keeping the people stupid enough to sell tomatoes frm selling them ;).